The other day, I bought a block of Velveeta. I don't know what I was thinking either.
Actually, that's a lie. I know exactly what I was thinking.
My husband loves mac and cheese. While pushing my cart through the grocery store, I spotted the Velveeta and - in that haze of dubious recipe shortcuts that always seizes me at the grocery store - I picked up a box. The grocery gods convinced me it would melt beautifully and create glorious mac and cheese with ease.
Sanity quickly prevailed, and that heavy box of Velveeta stared at me every time I opened the fridge until I finally decided enough was enough. I opened the cardboard box, tore into the wrapper and looked at my block of cheese. It was the color of a traffic cone and very rubbery in texture. Could it actually be a traffic cone fashioned into a rectangle?
I was further dismayed when I read the instructions. I only needed a chunk of the stuff. That meant I had - oh, I don't know - 50 more chunks until it was gone.
Then I melted the Velveeta and discovered it really should only be used with Rotel to make dip. It does not make very good mac and cheese. There were complaints from the peanut gallery.
I kept the remainder of that huge block in the fridge for weeks. At various times, I contemplated Googling for Velveeta recipes or offering it to a neighbor with many kids (because kids will eat anything). Finally, reluctantly, I threw it in the garbage. It hurt. I hate waste. But I couldn't force the stuff on Mr. G. Milk products don't agree with me so it's not like I could even take one for the team on this one. Into the bin it went.
Now I'm back to making Granny's cheese sauce when Mr. G. wants mac and cheese.
For the record, I don't recall Granny ever making cheese sauce. I remember her spaghetti with the canned mushrooms in the sauce, her burnt meatloaf (it was delicious) and her bread pudding. But my mother insists the family cheese sauce recipe came from Granny.
To make it, you melt butter and add flour. Then you stir in milk (and dry mustard for some reason) and stir until the sauce thickens. Cheese comes next. It's gloopy, oopy and decidedly not Velveeta. Maybe I could package it and sell it as Cheese Sauce That Doesn't Suck.
